Something Gnash and Incisive

So Liverpool footballer Luis Suarez became over-excited in a front-of-goal tussle and sank his teeth into the arm of a defender?   Come on, Football Association, if my dog did that on the street she’d have to wear a muzzle.  Need I say more?

Apart from lending further reinforcement to my opinion of football as a ‘sport’ this led me to wonder if there are not other situations which could be resolved by a similar form of retaliation?  Because when you come to think of it biting is a form of assault that has no easy response.  It doesn’t conform to any of the recognized rules of combat. 

None of that preliminary:  “Yeah, what?”

“So what?”

“What are you going to do about it then?”   Stuff.

Just teeth.  Straight in.  

And it doesn’t have the same result.  How do you feel if someone bites you?  Indignant?  Maybe, at first but not angry – no.  Not even mildly annoyed.  Instead, you spend the rest of the day, the rest of the week, the rest of your life wondering….why?   Self-examination will necessarily follow, you will become a better person.  You may even adopt a new religion.

It is the thinking person’s response to injustice.  So maybe next time you are watching a play and the person in front of you persists in using his mobile ‘phone, or even coughs incessantly, you should avoid remonstrating with him and simply lean forward and…yes, clamp down on his neck!    On the ‘bus when the youth misbehaves, in the crowded metro when someone gropes.  Imagine the surprise, the satisfaction you will gain from that wounded look!

Thank you, Luis Suarez!  We have all learned something from you today!